An Opportunity for Learning

I’ve had an interesting case of serendipity recently. A follower in my Tips community on Instagram requested that I ask the following: ‘Is it okay for a therapist to tell their client that they don’t feel well and, therefore, might not be their usual self in the session? '

What I love about asking these questions is the inevitable variety of responses. I have my conditioned spark of a response to the question, then a thoughtfully considered one. Then, I read all of the community's answers, and even if my opinion isn’t changed, it is always impacted.I strongly believe in nuance. There are very few right and wrongs in therapy (and life), but for this question, my view was that a therapist should not share with a client that they weren’t feeling their best. If that were the case and it was likely to impact the work, I believe it would be better for the session not to go ahead. Of course, there were many viewpoints, and I could understand them all, but they didn’t change my mind.

Recently, I had to have minor surgery. It was somewhat planned (although the date was brought forward unexpectedly), and I grappled with whether I needed to share this information with my clients. During my recovery, I was advised to stay at home and avoid being around people in case of infection, which is pretty tricky for a person who works primarily in person with people. Therefore, many of my sessions needed to be cancelled or moved online. I decided to share the truth with my clients and work with whatever came up for them. Ultimately, it all worked out well, but I know the repercussions may take time to reveal themselves fully in the work, and I remain open to them.

I am human, and my health is important. I chose to cancel sessions that I knew I wouldn’t be at my best in, and I was also honest about it with my clients.

So, would I tell a client I wasn’t feeling too well at the beginning of a session? Probably not. Do I feel okay with the level of self-disclosure regarding my recent health? Yes, I do. Fortunately, most of my therapeutic relationships are years old; the foundation and trust are there, as is the consistency. However, life has a funny way of throwing curve balls now and again, which sometimes forces you to look at things in another way.