I struggle to sleep at night because I think about clients/sessions despite doing lots of self-care.
Any tips?
Thank you for asking this question. It reminds me of a quote ‘my mind decides to run, when normal people sleep’. I imagine that most people have been in this situation at one point or another, I know I have.
When you say that you struggle to sleep because you are thinking about clients, what exactly are you thinking about? Is it more to do with the practical aspects of the work such as timings, how many sessions and so on, or is it feelings or themes that keep you awake at night? This strikes me as quite important, because if it’s more practical things then perhaps a ‘To Do list’, or a diary might help organise your time so that everything is not swirling around in your mind at night-time. If it’s the latter, then it might be a bit more challenging to address.
What I imagine is happening here with the little information I have is that perhaps you do not have enough time to process. Processing for ourselves is necessary, but it is especially so in this line of work as we are not just holding our own psyches but also those of our clients.
Do you have adequate supervision? Do you have a way of offloading your day and the emotional impact the client work will have on you? It’s important to think about how your working day impacts your sleep, and what small changes you might be able to make that could help. I’ve found that having a daily to do list where I can physically tick things off helps, but also having a list of things that need to be done over the next week or so which are less urgent. This means that things ruminate less in my mind.
In terms of emotional support, I found that connecting with other therapists on a day-to-day basis can really help. Not many of us can afford (or want to have daily supervision) but having the space to talk to people that might understand what we are going through can really help us process what might be left over from our clients. Having your own therapy could be useful here. In the safe space of the therapy room, you can talk about anything you want, anything that may be stirred up from your client work and the thoughts that keep you awake at night. Have you considered going back into therapy? Or if you are in therapy, has this been brought up?
I’m also curious as to what self-care you are engaging in. Is this something that is incorporated into your everyday life? Especially regarding your life as a therapist. There is also something about pre-care, putting strategies in place because the job that you do is inherently emotionally draining. I’ve found that having a morning ritual, between session rituals and a night-time ritual has been hugely beneficial in helping me switch off on the heavy emotional load of the work. Things such as exercise, staying hydrated, social activities, reading and creative tasks can all be incorporated into your self-care rituals.
Developing daily habits that contribute to good sleep might also help. Often, we tend to think about sleep only when we are in bed, when having good sleep is something that could be considered throughout your day. For example, no caffeine after a certain time, journaling, getting adequate sunlight and movement, going to sleep in your own personal sleep window, a daily work cut off time and so on.
When I’m in bed and I’m struggling to sleep I have found that the following steps have often helped.
Slow down
Take a breath
Step back from your thoughts
Retrain your attention back to the present
Concentrate on breathing
If sleep doesn’t come, then get up and do something else for a little while before trying again. There’s nothing more frustrating than lying in bed trying to sleep only for it to invade us.
There is no easy solution here, unfortunately. Sleep is one of the most natural things but can also be one of the most difficult things. I would also think about when the struggle to sleep again, and what you might be carrying from your clients into your own life.
Also, I found this for exercise to be helpful when I’m struggling with something. What would you say to a client if they came to you with this problem? We are often better at helping someone else with an issue than we are ourselves!
Good luck and restful sleep
Lesley
Comments