How to Eat

The idea for this article came to my mind whilst watching Nigella Lawson’s programme ‘At my table’. Anyone who is familiar with Lawson will know that she treats the making and eating of food as if she is making love to it. It is sensual, seemingly without guilt and with such pleasure. The pleasurable eating of food is a joy that many of us have lost in this day and age with its obsession with thinness, thigh gaps and so called ‘clean’ eating. Now I am not suggesting that we should all be like Nigella, but there is something profoundly sad about the fact that the eating and pleasure of food has taken on so many negative connotations and can be such a challenge for many. A history of eating Throughout history humankind’s relationship to food has been a complicated one encompassing scarcity, gluttony, restriction and everything in between. The ability to know how to intuitively eat has been somewhat lost by the vast majority. Food is readily available and we often have an abundance of choice. We no longer have to hunt for our food, and the amount of choice can be daunting and skew our intuitive senses to what our body actually needs. Naturally this does not take into account the many people in the world who do not have ready access to food, or those suffering with eating disorders. The fact of the matter is that we cannot get away from food and eating, as it is essential for our survival. So when one suffers with some form of disordered eating, complications with food or simply struggles to enjoy eating, it can impact every facet of life and relationships. Why is eating so difficult for many? This is a question that is too great to answer in a short article. Eating is no longer only a means of fuelling one’s body, it has taken on many societal, cultural and emotional aspects which makes it profoundly complicated. The relationship we develop with food will often start in our early childhood. What messages did you receive about food as a child? What was the culture of food and eating in your household? Was there too little food? Was there too much? Was it used to celebrate or to punish? These are just some questions to ask yourself so that you can begin to understand how your relationship with food developed, and how you can catch certain negative ways of thinking in relation to your eating. This is not just about under-eating or overeating, but eating in general. So many of us are influenced by disordered ways of relating to food that we believe it is normal to feel shame and guilt for eating. It shouldn't be that way. Be mindful of what you consume on social media. What messages are you being given? What accounts do you follow? Look at it with a critical eye as social media will greatly influence your thoughts and feelings towards food and your body. How to eat with pleasure and mindfulness Developing a different relationship with food that considers pleasure, mindfulness, nourishment and satisfaction takes work and time. (A slight disclaimer that if you are suffering with an eating disorder, this aspect of recovery comes much later in the process). A good place to begin is to really taste your food. Savour it. What does it smell like? How does it feel in your mouth? Does it begin to change taste as you eat it? How does it settle in your stomach? And how does your body feel one or two hours later? We can all be in such a rush with our busy lives that we do not take the time to sit, enjoy and savour our food. I challenge you to do this for one meal. Eat in silence. Listen to what your body is telling you about the food. Another thing to try is to challenge the negative thoughts you have around food and eating. Where did these come from? How do they serve you? If you find yourself comparing what you eat to a friend or family member, think about why you do this. Comparing your food intake to someone else's is pointless as they do not live in your body, have not moved in the way that you have and do not have your nutritional requirements. Negative ideas around food and eating well greatly impact your relationship to it, and your ability to enjoy it. Overtime you can learn to cultivate a different relationship to food and eating, and see how it can impact other areas of your life. After all, we can never have too much joy in life. If you are currently suffering with an eating disorder than there are places you can get help. Visit your GP or look at the BEAT website for further information and guidance. If you are considering private therapy, please feel free to contact me. If you are a mental health professional/ therapist or organisation who is interested in further information in eating, body image or eating disorders, please contact me for webinars and workshops around these areas.