A frequent question I am asked in my Tips’ community is how does one avoid feeling isolated as a therapist? Although in one sense, the role of a therapist is to foster human connection, it is not for the benefit of the therapist, it is for the more important other, the client. In fact, one of my primary motivations for starting the Tips’ community was precisely this reason, avoiding feeling alone as I begun my full time private practice.
In many ways, being a therapist is a lonely pursuit, in spite of the fact that the role is to spend quality time with others. The nature of the therapeutic relationship is that the therapists needs come second, they cannot talk about their work openly and they must uphold confidentiality. These two factors can bring on a sense of isolation, or loneliness. Many therapists also work alone in private practice, without a team and may not come into contact with other therapists, or people other than their clients, for days on end. It then becomes understandable how easily this feeling can develop.
Feeling or being isolated can be distressing, and lead to undesirable mental, emotional or physical states. It can take its toll. Especially in the role of a therapist, in which the practice is to connect emotionally with clients, with their distress, pain and darkness, feeing isolated can leave someone burnt out, detached, and greatly impact the quality of ones life, and work.
At some stage in life we will all likely feel isolated, or lonely, that is a part of the spectrum of human experience. However, there are ways to try and minimise the risks. I have found in my own experience that you have to be intentional about connecting with others. You have to put yourself out there, create things, take risks, talk to people, reach out, be vulnerable. This may sound scary, but feeling isolated or alone is much scarier!
I’ve listed some of the ways I have found of connecting with other people, which has for the most part, stopped me feeling too isolated in my private practice over the years. I still have moments when I feel alone, or crave interaction, or wish for a therapist ‘off button’, but generally I feel mostly supported in my practice, and I have a few close others I know I can lean on when needed.
Ways of connecting
Joining a group practice
Working within an organisation
Therapist peer groups
Therapist book clubs
Therapist forums
Networking /CPD events
Instragam, social media
Connecting with your training peers
Regular individual supervision and peer supervision
Writing groups
Exercise/Movement groups
Let’s also not forget the importance of spending time building non therapy relationships, with friends, family or partners, and pets!
If you ever feel lonely in your practice, please feel free to connect with me on Instagram, where we can have a chat, a moan or a laugh. I have been fortunate to connect with quite a few other therapists in the Tips' community over the last couple of years, some of which have become real life friends.
Remember, you don't have to accept isolation or loneliness as a part of the job. There are many therapists out there, and many ways to connect.
Lesley x
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